Posted by: geolocke | 2013/07/04

Longing (Friday, Nov. 11, 2011)

Lord, How long? How long will this emptiness fill my being? I know that you sometimes allow a soul the grace to become empty, just so you can fill her afresh with your goodness, but Lord, it has been a very long time.

I have few emotions left to me, but when they do come they erupt. I do not intend for them to erupt, but they do so all the same.

How I wish I were alone in a desert. Then at least there would be a reason I could understand for feeling this way. The only real emotion I feel is love for you while worshiping near your Holy Altar. Perhaps that is the reason… All else is passing. You alone are real and worthy of joy and passion.

But I can not stay near your Altar for all my life, can I? I must live in this world with other empty souls just like me. Let me gather strength from you while I am here Lord. Fill this empty space between my ribs where my heart used to beat so wildly. Fill me with your Holy Spirit that I may walk among the people you would call your own dear ones and let me minister to them once more.

Set a new heart within me aflame with your Spirit so my soul may burst forth in light that draws others to you. May your flame burn so hotly that all the corruption that binds her within the cage of my body is utterly consumed. Set my soul free so she may fly up and briefly touch the vault of your heavens, shining as bright as a new-born star, then returning once more to take up her home within me, feeding me, sustaining me, never to dim , flicker or fade from me ever again.

How Long Lord? How long must I wait before I feel your Graces filling my spirit once again? Lord, how long?

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